I would think that all of you guys would know what bullying is or even experienced it at some point in your life. Now does anyone really get what the actual point of bullying is, cause i still don’t. I don’t know if the bully thinks of it as some form of amusement or just has nothing better to do. I think bullying is absolutely sick. It tears people apart. Trust me, i know.
Do any of you ever think that you have to change yourself, just for the sake of fitting in. Moving to a brand new high school by myself was so hard. I thought that the only way i could make friends was to change who i was. When your in primary school, you act like a kid all the time. You have no worries in the world and are free to be who you want to be. In primary school i had everything, great friends that had stood by me since kindergarten, even the ones i never actually called a friend. These are all people that liked me for who i was.
Now in high school i act completely different to who i actually am. Who i chose to be only benefited the people from my high school. I like to think of myself as a fun, outgoing crazy person. But in order to achieve this traits, i thought the best thing to do was act dumb and put off assessments to the last minute. I have been doing all this so that i don’t change my image. For the past 2 years it has just gotten to be too much and couldn’t handle it.
Everyone began calling me dumb, stupid and lots of other hurtful things. I began to stay up late at night thinking i was nothing and that i should just run away cause no one would notice. My parents got so worried because i used to be constantly sad and cry all the time. My extended family used to email me and text me and ask me if i was OK, but of course i lied and acted as if everything was OK. All my friends said that saying i was dumb, stupid or other things, were just jokes and they didn’t mean anything.
I thought that the only way to survive high school was to become one thing and i chose being funny over my grades. And just because of that i couldnt prove to people that i was smart as well, my grades began to decrease and ever since then i have been barely passing my classes.
Sometimes i wish that i had my old primary school friends there to tell them who i really am because if i try to tell them that i actually am smart they just laugh and change the subject. Whenever they get amazing grades in their exams, they rub it in my face and say things like “I’m so much smarter than you and other things like that”.
I know that around the world people have much worse than me but i know for a fact that any form of bullying is horrible. I wrote this post to tell all of you guys, that you are not alone, when it comes to bullying. Personally i find it really hard to talk to friends about these sort of things, so i like to talk to my parents and grandparents, and they helped me get through it. Its still going on now, but its not as bad as it was previously.
Do any of you guys have any experiences with bullying or have any helpful tips on how to make it stop? Feel free to share it down in the comments or email me.
Just know that you are not alone.
Softball Girl, going home